you can't
Sometimes, the most memorable travel experiences are the ones where you don't see anything.
As part of our guided tour through Namibia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe in 2019, we spent a partial day in downtown Windhoek, the capital of Namibia, where we were scheduled to visit local historical sites.
Except, we didn't get to actually see them.
We started at Christ Church, a beautiful building in the center of the city. The sun was beating down on us as we waited for our guide to arrive, so we were looking forward to exploring the building's cool interiors. When our guide arrived, she politely explained that we would not be able to go into the church that day, as it was not open for tours (it was not a Sunday). Instead, while we stood outside of the building, the guide thoroughly described to us all the things inside that we would have seen had we been able to go inside.
After that, we walked across the road to the Tintenpalast, which is the location of the Parliament of Namibia. Again, we were informed that the building was not open for tours that day, but our guide was happy to describe the interiors to us. Which she then proceeded to do.
Luckily, the Parliament Gardens were lush and cool and very, very inviting on a hot day. Getting to walk through those would be a treat. Except — you guessed it — we were not able to walk through those, as they were closed to the public. Never mind that there were people down in the gardens enjoying them the very moment that our guide dashed our hopes. Nope, the gardens were not for us that day.
This was getting rather ridiculous.
From there, we walked two blocks to the Independence Memorial Museum, which is the national museum of Namibia. Luckily, it was open that day and we could see people going in and out. As we approached, I muttered quietly to my husband, "I bet you anything that we don't get to go inside."
I was joking.
Y'all, two minutes later our guide informed us that we did not have enough time to go inside and visit, so she once again carefully told us about the history of the museum and the exhibits inside. I really need to use my powers for good, not evil.
From there, we walked one more block to the Alte Feste, which is an old fortress. As we headed over, several people in our group predicted that there was no way we were going to be able to go inside. It was like we were looking into a crystal ball because once again we could not go inside. So our guide very kindly told us about the history of the building while we tried to not faint under the hot Namibian sun.
After that, our tour was done. Five sites with historical significance and we did not go into a single one. One of our safari guides was with us and knew of a nearby ice cream shop*, so we scampered over there and basked in the glories of delicious frozen treats while we shook our heads over the bizarre tour we had just gone on.
This was just one stop on our trip and one of the rare negatives in what was otherwise a fantastic adventure, so I'm not actually complaining. And let's be honest, now I have this story to share about our memorable odd non-tour tour.
* Cramer’s Ice Cream — highly recommend if you find yourself in the neighborhood.