downy suffocation

The bed in our Airbnb in Lisbon in 2022.

I’m going to start this off with a declarative statement:

Duvets are the worst bedding, the absolute worst.

They don’t allow any balance in one’s body temperature. You are either too warm because you’re covered with a thick layer of fabric or you are too cold because you’ve thrown the duvet off in an attempt to stop drowning in your own sweat.

And far too many beds with duvets are not made up with a top sheet, so there’s nothing else available to take the edge off of the nighttime chill.

And worse, duvets are common all over the world. I’ve suffered and sweated under them in all seasons in Europe, the Nordic countries, New Zealand, Australia, and sub-Saharan Africa.

While in Namibia in 2019, I had a meltdown, both physically and mentally, in the middle of the night because I was absolutely roasting. However, when I threw off the duvet, I had nothing else available to provide light coverage, not even a sheet, so I was quickly too cold, as well as clammy, as I was damp from sweat. It was on that night that I dubbed duvets “Satan’s maxi pads.”

Even when I’m in a cold climate, duvets are often too heavy. Rare is the time that they are actually the right weight. I spend each night conducting Nocturnal Geometry, in which I calculate how much of my body — and which parts of my body — I need to cover with a duvet so that I am warm enough, but not so much that I wake up sweaty and angry. It’s complicated math, I tell you.

How do women all over the world sleep with these things, particularly middle-aged women for whom every day is their own personal summer?

So what are one’s options?

At a minimum, I could pull the cover off the duvet and sleep with that. But if I don’t remember to do that before going to bed, doing so in the middle of the night will wake my husband and I don’t want to disrupt his sleep too.

If I’m in an Airbnb, I do look for other bedding, particularly flat sheets and lightweight blankets. Sometimes I get lucky; oftentimes I do not.

If I’m in a hotel, I might or might not be able to source some other type of bedding.

Beyond that, I try to get creative. I always travel with a lightweight scarf or wrap and that can theoretically act as a throw blanket for my upper body. Or possibly a large towel, although many Airbnbs don’t have enough towels available to use one exclusively as a throw blanket.

I’ve never been desperate enough to buy a lightweight blanket while traveling, but I have certainly considered it.

Okay, lay it on me. What are your thoughts about duvets?